Why Are You Single?

If you’re a type of person who’s not willing to accept constructive criticism, which is also one of the reasons why you are single, please don’t read this post, as it contains the ugly truth and unpleasant answers to why you’re single. 

1.) Your standards are too high

You wanted someone who’s six feet tall, with a master’s degree and a six-figure salary, knows martial arts, can play guitar (or drums), can speak good English, good with kids, has pets, loves to read and watch movies, smart, intelligent, etc. In a nutshell, someone who resembles Captain America or James Bond. 

It’s not wrong for you to want a guy who can meet these impossible standards, but the question is, would this guy like you? Sure, you might not be the girl version of Quasimodo, but you’re not exactly Amal Clooney or Kate Middleton either. 

My point is, look for someone within your league. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and base your standards on yourself and on what you have to offer to the guy.  

I’m not saying that you settle; what I’m saying is that you should set realistic standards with actual traits that have something to do with your relationship and can affect in your relationship. Let go of “must be six feet and up” or “knows how to speak French”, because, no matter how impressive those traits are now, it wouldn’t matter in the future. 

Find someone to love who will love you back with all his heart, someone who would be proud of you and who would never abandon you in hard times. 

2.) You’re going after the wrong person

This applies to most guys. It’s very disappointing that they’re going after models and ignore girls around them, as if they’ll really get those models’ attention. 

There’s nothing wrong to like and go after Adriana Lima, but the thing is, she only likes real life princes and quarterbacks who earn millions every game. 

Choose to be with someone who you deserve to be with. 

3.) You’re too full of yourself

Numbers 1 and 2 don’t apply to you because you have plenty of admirers, but the problem is you think that none of them deserve you and you dismiss them prematurely. 

While it’s just right that you shouldn’t settle with just anyone, it would be better that you give everyone a fair chance to get to know you (unless they’re excons or married or in a complicated relationship) and for you to get to know them. If it doesn’t work, at least you have them a chance. 

4.) You’re not putting yourself out there

If you’re of age, mature enough and you’re ready to give everyone a chance to get to know you but there’s just nobody in the horizon, maybe, you’re not putting yourself out there. You’re probably limiting yourself and your options in your neighborhood, work and church. 

Go out of your comfort zone; explore new hobbies and go to new places. Chances are, you won’t just learn a new skill but you might also meet someone special. 

5.) You need improvement 

You have the looks and you have plenty of admirers, but none of them sticks around. 

Bad news. The problem doesn’t lie with them but with you. Reflect and think about the things that you need to improve on. 

Everyone has always something to work on in themselves, but based on observation, these are the common problems that I see with singles now. 

Girls are too self-entitled, vain, addicted to social media, immature and unkind to other girls. They go to social media for just about everything, like to complain and whine about problems in school, work, family and relationship and for validation and attention. 

Men are too irresponsible. They get into a relationship where they promise girls the moon and the stars, but they can’t even feed themselves and still depend on their parents. They’re also very pretentious and would say things that girls would want to hear. 

Trying your hardest to change for the better is a good place to start. Be the best version of yourself. 

6.) You’re too proud

A single girl who’s few years older than me told the me that she’s not looking for a partner in life, but if it’s God’s will that she will meet someone special, she’s okay with that, so I offered to set her up with another good friend, which she declined, and I don’t understand why. 

How in the world are you going to know if someone was sent by God if you don’t try to get to know the person?

Like I said in #3, you need to give everyone a chance. In my friend’s case, though she’s not unfortunate-looking, she doesn’t have anyone knocking on her door either, so she totally needs help, and I can sense that the only thing stopping her from meeting a guy is her pride. I could say that she’s a good catch and anyone would be lucky to have her but you can’t really help a person who doesn’t want to be helped. 

Don’t be in denial. If you’re going through a dryspell, ask for help. I went through this too and the first person I asked for help was my mother. There’s nothing wrong with asking your family and relatives to set you up with someone, and because they have your best interests at heart, they wouldn’t set you up with a douchebag. 

7.) You’re not taking good care of yourself

You’re “ugly”, for the lack of a better term. 

I’m sure a lot of people will be horrified to hear it from me, especially overly religious people. They’d say, “we are created in God’s image, blah blah blah blah.” Please, spare me. 

Yes, God created all of us, but it’s not always His fault that we’re ugly. Most often than not, we become ugly because we’re not looking after ourselves. 

We know that eating junk food and not exercising makes us fat, yet we still do it. We know that not drinking enough water and staying up late, browsing Facebook makes us have pimples, yet we still do it. 

The only acceptable reason why you can’t avoid staying up late or eating fattening food is when you’re a student and can’t afford to buy healthy meals, but what on Earth do you need to be attractive when you have no business to be flirting? 

My advice is, be attractive, which is not very hard. All you have to do is to get a job, buy yourself some good clothes, healthy meals and a gym membership. Eat healthy, drink a lot of water, take a shower everyday. Save up for braces, take vitamins to even your skin tone and set a budget for facials and waxing. 

8.) You’re not doing anything about the problems mentioned above

The only thing worse these problems is not doing something these problems, like a really sick patient refusing to take medication. 

The only person who can help you with these problems is you, and if you refuse to do something about it, prepare to be alone forever. 

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